I want to run away....

Today i went to see my brother who studies at narendrapur.Its the best school in WEst bengal but its residential.Going there make me nostalgic.The memory of those days when i first went there as a 10 year kid flashes in my mind.Life then was so wonderful just laugh and play.With my "rosy cheeks,dimple chin" and sweet smile there were not many whose hearts i couldnt win.Life was so different and nice.

• The only movie star I care about was then not Srk or any other khan but Tom and jerry ,mickeymouse ,goofy,superman..
• The football team i used to shout for was not Arsenal or ManU but my section football team...
• It was not a big deal to have more than one best friend and that best friend also use to change often.
  
• Parents use to seem as angels when toys and candies use to pop out from their pockets
• The bravest thing which one imagine to think about is to walk into a dark room alone and ghosts seemed to be the only enemy of human
• the most shameful thing to me then was to loose to my friends in badminton match.
• friend were just not the guys to "hang "out with but those who always used to put out their helping hand whenever i was in a tight corner.
• exams were nothing more other than hurdles to go to new class

But now life has become so complex.I would be lying if i say growing up have no advantages.I can now watch whatever movie i like.Parents dont censure about what programmes to watch on T.v.
Mother doesnt enquire about whom i am talking on phone.In a word i have got more freedom.But with that have come more responsibilities and worries.One always have to pretend to be "cool" one need to be careful so that huge ego of others are not hurt.Life actually seems to have lost that "free-spirit of childhood"
AND now as i am in the final year of my engineering college the most important thing that is bugging me is thoughts about my career.Failure now just doesnt mean that one is not able to go to next class but failure here means that ones whole life becomes failure.i have got a taste of how bad is that feeling of that failure last wednesday when during the campuss placement of Vedanta.It was the first time i felt the need of a shoulder to cry upon,its the first time such a hollow feeling gripped me its the first time i felt so alone.And now i have more difficult hurdles before me.The entrance xams for MBA and then probably the campussplacement of tcs.I have dreamt about these for a long time but i have seen god almost always crush my dreams.I am feeling very jittery and i dont want to taste failure again....I just want to RUN AWAYand again return to those innocent days of childhood....
"Wish i could be always that way
As a little baby and keep my worries away"

Azab prem ki gazab kahani.....(my version)

It was raining heavily outside.I went inside a coffee shop to spend some time until the rain ceases.It was almost full as many guys like me have entered there to take shelter from the heavy shower.I ordered sandwich and cappuccino and took out the novel "3 mistakes of my life" by chetan bhagat and started reading.Suddenly i heard a very feminine voice that seemed familiar.

"a cup of cold coffee for me"
I looked and found a very familiar face.It was Geeta a friend of mine who used to study with me at engineering college.Suddenly the memories of those old days began to flash in my memory.
My college days were great.We( I and Udipto) were great friends.We always used to stick together because most of my batch mates were dumb.Our friendship grew more intense during our trip to Lava,Lolegaon(near kalimpong) .On that tour no girls from our department went.We tried to intrude into group of some other girls but didnt get a warm welcome.We tried to have some fun ourselves but nothing is complete for us without girls.
But suddenly one day we had some luck.We oneday went to a local restaurant and found the man at the counter shouting at two girls.We came to know that the girls are saying that they cant pay the bill because someone stole their purse in the shop but the shopkeeper is not believing them.Udipto never misses those chances.He went up promptly and paid the bill for those girls.The girls thanked us and soon we became friends.We came to know that they were the only 2 girls from their dept.So we began to hang out together.They were Geeta and Naina.They were not gorgeous but simple and smart.We had a great time there.We visited the Chagi falls together,We watched the sunset together from Lolegaon,we watched kanchenjunga from Rishap...We even oneday went out boating together in the amusement park in Kalimpong.
At the end of the tour i became pretty close to Naina.The 10 days of tour went in a flash and it was the time to return home.As planned we were returning by darjeeling mail.Just after we boarded the train it started raining.I couldnt sleep and went near the door and was watching the rain.I suddenly felt someone standing beside me.It was naina.
She said "so you r awake!!!"
I replied "i cant sleep at train"
She :I actually feel scary during these thunderstorms.
I: you are as childish as your voice suggests.
She:Hey come on i am the best singer in the college .Dont ridicule about my voice.
After this i kept on insisting her to sing a song and she finally obliged...
And started singing

iye dooriyan
in rahoon ki dooriya
fanah ho sabhi doodriyan...

When she ended i was completely engrossed in it.I asked"are you madly in love with someone?"
She" ya!But dont ask me his name...
After the trip i was lost in her dreams.But we cant meet regularly.She was from different dept.She mostly used to hang out with her own group of friends while i with my group.But still we used to meet twice or thrice in a week.
I had a deep crush on her but never proposed her.I knew she love somebody.Anyway days gradually pass away and few days were left before we pass out from college.Suddenly one day i got a call from Geeta.She said Naina got a message from my facebook account Where i expressed my feelings about her.I was stunned.I frankly denied.
"Come on!!Ari Didnt u propose her?"
I knew i didnt do it and even no one knew my password.I bluntly said"U two r among my best friends of my college.I knew Naina love someone else.How can i be such a pervert?I really like her company as i like to hang out with my other close friends.Thats it!!!"
Well after that day Naina began to behave a little strange with me.Soon however our college days were over.She returned to her home town Cuttock.I didnt meet her or heard from her after that...Well however the mystry always haunted me Who sent the message frm my account???






Hi Ari.. is that you?Well Getta was same as before although i am more fat now.We soon began to talk like old days.during our conversation i suddenly asked"Are you still single?"
She:i am not in a hurry to marry likeNaina.
i:Oh thats great!!!She is married OMG!!!(Although i felt pain in my heart i tried to be normal)
She:ya!this time she was lucky with someone who is better than a stupid friend who JUST LIKE her
I: What do you mean?"
She: you are stupid as before.You mever understand anything.Naina actually used to love you.But you the fool never understood..."
I:But she was upset about that message!She never talked with me as before after that.
She:There was no such message.We just planned to see your reaction and gauge your mind.But you break her heart.

.......................................................................................................................................................................



that was enough for me.I couldnt stand it anymore.Tears began to trickle from my eyes.
The song began to resonate in my ears....
iye dooriyan
in rahoon ki dooriyan
fanah ho sabhi dooriyan...







P.S. It is purely fictional.But the place i mentioned lava lolegaon,rishap are truely amazing.By the way the movie "azab pre.....kahini" is also good.U will enjoy it more if u watch it with your partner.

TAG!!!!

So i have been tagged thanks to sunakshi and a sweet 15 year old girl.(I dont know her name yet but the rate at which i am reading her blog i hope to discover soon)

anyway here it goes-:

The more [x]’ s the “dumber” you are.

[ ] Gum has fallen out of your mouth when you were talkingng

[ ] You have ran into a glass/screen door

[ ] Gum has fallen out of your mouth when you were NOT talking

[ x] You have jumped out of a moving vehicle

[x ] You have thought of something funny while walking by yourself

[x ] Laughed, then watched people give you weird looks

So far: 3

[ ] You have run into a tree/bush.

[ ] You know that it IS possible to lick your elbow

[ ] You have tried to lick your elbow… a few times

[ x] You never knew that the Alphabet and Twinkle Twinkle Little star have the same rhythm. [x] You just tried to sing them.

So far: 5

[x ] You have tripped on your shoelace and fallen.

[ ] You have choked on your own spit .

[x ] You have seen the Matrix and still don’t get it.

[ ] You’ve never seen the Matrix.

[ ] You type only with two fingers.

So far: 6

[] You have accidentally caught something on fire

[ ] You tried to drink out of a straw, but it went into your nose/eyes.

[x ] You have caught yourself drooling.

[ ] You have fallen asleep in class and fell outta your chair

So far: 7

[x ] Sometimes you just stop thinking

[x] You are telling a story and forget what you were talking about

[ ] People often shake their heads and walk away from you

[ ] You are often told to use your “inside voice”.

[ ] You use your fingers to do simple math

So far: 9

[ ] You have eaten a bug

[x ] You are taking this test when you should be doing something more important

[x ] You have put your clothes on backwards or inside out, and didn’t realize it

[x ] You’ve looked all over for something and realized it was in your hand

[ ] You have ran around naked in your house.So far: 12

[ ] You repost bulletins because you are scared that what they say will happen to you if you don’t.

[] You break a lot of things.

[ ] Your friends know not to use big words around you.

[ ] You tilt your head when you’re confused

[ ] You have fallen out of your chair beforeSo far: 12

[13] When you’re lying in bed, you try to find pictures in the texture of the ceiling or wall

[ ] The word “ummmmm” is used many times a day.

Total 13 out of 37.

13/37 * 100 =35.1 % lol

This shows why i was often called ian idiot in school.I will kike others to share this tag..

a memorable phone call

girl: hello! me: hello!I am a....... girl: Do i know you?? me: No actually u don't know me.I study with u in chemistry tution.I have devoloped a liking for u.It would be great if we become friend. girl: Listen i dont know who the hell are u.But if u call me once more i will kick the shit out of u. me: (my mind was blank.I jst managed to say somehow)Okay i thought being friend was not a bad idea. Before i could say anything she hung up p.s.-this was how the conversation went when i tried to call up a girl on whom i had crush for the first time in my life.luckily in my tution there was a guy who was my namesake.next day he had to bear the burnt for my antic.may be my innocent face befooled HER.Anyway later that girl became one of my acquaintance and we had a great laugh when I narrated this incident.life is stranger than fiction!!!!

my freaking mind.....

This post is about some of my confessions which i decide to do...So here it goes few of my dirty secrets.... 1)I always wear a smile on my face.Even when i am upset or angry the smile doesn't vanish.Rather even when i am in some awkward situation i giggle sheepishly. 2)I cant turn down any request usually.So i am often left with doing things which i don't like.So beware i may grant ur request due to courtesy but in my mind i may be cursing u... 3)I am not a guy to share my feelings with others.I mostly keep my feelings to myself. 4)Many of my friends think that i am bit casual and generally doesnt get upset.But truth is i am very sensitive.I cant ignore any harshness in the behavior of those close to me.I contemplate over those and often get upset. 5)I have a soft corner in my heart for dove eyed tall girls. 6)Many of my friends think i like movies with violence very much.But the truth is i always prefer a love aaj kal or jane tu ya.... rather than movies like saw or hostel. 7)I may come across who doesnt take tensions.But the fact is 2 words result and xam jst make my mind numb. 8)Choclates and ice cream r the best food to me and chilled beer is the best drink. 9)I am laid back but ambitious(paradox )

... iye dooriyan.... in rahoon ki dooriyan nigahon ki dooriya hum rahon ki dooriyan fannah ho sabhi dooriyan... This song is jst buzzing in my head now.Anyway its one hour past midnight.so bye gd nit.

Nostalgic....

Well writing after almost 2 wks.Actually was busy.now i am down with fever so i got some time to carry on with my mindless musings.Well today one thing just struck my mind.Now its septmember.We will resume our college again at the end of october.Then again january will be holiday for after sem.In november we will be busy for our sem in december.Then there r rumours that campuss placements will start from february..And finall curtains will be down on our college life at the mid of may.So probably there will be no time for enjoyments.Really it hurts thinking about the end of college life. My college life is not so colourful.Never wooed a girl of my college,never got involved in student politics...But still i will miss my collge life.This 4 years taught me a lot.Made me mature.learnt to adapt to different conditions.And above all taught me to make friends.Really in my college life i made some friends whom i will remember through out my life .Really i fell sad when i think after a few months they will probably no longer a part of my life.We may meet occassionally but will never be able to revive this days. So i wanted to make the last year the happiest ever..I really really enjoyed the month of august and september.We had lots of fun.Want to continue the rest days in same vein.It wud be an icing on the cake if we get jobs through campuss placement.This wish will top the list of the prayers i will make to god this pujo...... p.s--- Tommorrow is mahalaya.So happy mahalaya to all.....

am i normal????

Wow!! its about 10 past one.I hope everybody is having sweet dreams except nerds like me..Dont get me wrong i am not mugging for any xam or chasing my creative pursuits..jst staying awake..Nerds like me do everything for nothing..I am jst looking outside through my window...and hearing the platter of rain...Well its rainy season the" season for poets"...Through my child hood i read numerous poems on rainy season..Besides to many rainy season the nights r xtra special..Some say it gives them a wonderful errie feeling,some say the r spellbound by the mysterious beauty...some say their mind jst goes flying..Bt at present my mind is jst blank.. Well one can enjoy a rainy day..By seeing the beautiful rainbow some "ahh" and "wow" come out from my mouth also..Besides i also njoy wading through the waterlogged streets of kolkata...Bt a rainy night i dont know i dont find anything special...Even on any normal night u can spend some time by watching the twinkling stars bt clouds on a rainy night even deprive one from that pleasure...I am trying my best to find out some speciality in it bt my imagination refuse to strech..... .

I AM HAVING MORE DOUBTS...... "AM I REALLY ABNORMAL??????"